the wind is blowing hard enough that it’s shaking the life out of the windows in my room, trying to get in to disrupt the order and flow of everything inside. going outside is to step into a great wind tunnel that will take you whichever way that it feels. i’m tempted to go with it. to feel the pull of the air as it drags me down the road, across the river, into the unknown. the smell of the eggs I cooked earlier is still lingering in the hallway. i need to get out. i want to press the gas pedal and see the sights. i want to meet the people i’m destined to meet. hear the music of the world as a soundtrack to my adventures. i want to eat grapes off the vine and drink whiskey with truck drivers. i want to see where all that corn that’s in everything comes from. if there’s a rock somewhere that reflects the sunlight just right at exactly the right time, and shoots off in every direction like a prism, i want to make it there five minutes beforehand so I can set up a picnic and watch it happen with a girl under my arm.  i want my friends to be there too. we’ll get more joy out of the journey than we ever will by getting anywhere. there’s trouble to be found. there’s drinks to be had. there’s hills to climb and boulders to leap off of. living your entire life in one city with one mindset is death. somewhere in nowhere there is a man tuning his guitar and he will play the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard but if you don’t make it there in time, no big deal, there will be another song being sung just down road. haircuts be damned. 

i’ve come to the realization that life is filled with intricacies.  there is infinite joy to be found by appreciating small details.  subtlety is an art. 

drama is a creation of the mind. it’s there to give people something to feel emotionally attached to. it’s what earns us our rewards for overcoming it. we celebrate, we mourn, we feel apprehensive, nervous, we feel empowered or diminished because of it and act outside of our true feelings because of it. 

our mind tells us that certain things are important.  most of the time we believe it.

some days we have trouble.

every day is filled with options, decisions to make, and chances to make a choice, starting from what shoes to wear and ending with who you want to be. 

the trick is to never feel trapped by these choices. just because you put on boots doesn’t meant you can’t switch out for your sandals at any time.  just because you woke up an accountant doesn’t mean that you don’t still like flying kites. just because you were supposed to take that left doesn’t make veering right the wrong decision. 

and just because you were led to believe, and do believe, that something is truly important, it doesn’t make it so. 

don’t fill your life with twelve minute guitar solos if a simple rhythm played on set of rusty spoons would have done. stop putting your ear against the wall to hear through to the next room if there is a door leading right to it. but don’t make a big deal out of it. your entire life is going to be filled with these choices, and trying to fry all of your shrimp at once is going to lead to nothing but a big pile of old soggy shrimp, and the cocktail sauce has gone bad. 

what i mean is subtlety is a key component when taking control of your life. you can’t just dance around on the beach in a sparkly speedo with a boombox on your shoulder. you have to be able to find the joy in the smallest of crannies. in the tiniest of nooks. in the warmth of a good pair of gloves. in the company of good friends. in the after-a-long-ass-day-at-work gin and tonic. in the long car ride. in the smell of roasting garlic. in the twang of a banjo. in family. in mountains and valleys and tall, two hundred year trees. in the very idea of possibility and taking chances and being human enough to take risks. 

nothing is as important as you think it is. 

go.

do.